The Transition

Your son or daughter will go through many changes during their first year of university. It's important to remain as understanding as possible through these challenges, so here are some words of wisdom to help you and your child remain close during this transition.

It takes time to adjust
Transition to university can be daunting, and some students may have moments where they long for the comforts of home.

Ask questions...but not too many
First year university students are 'cool', and have 'issues' with perceived parental interference. However, they still desire the security of knowing someone is interested in them.

Write...even if they do not write back
Although students are eager to experience all of the independence university brings, they are still anxious for family ties and security.

Expect change
Your child's transition could be drastic, slow or somewhere in between - be patient.

Be supportive
Parenting can be challenging, especially during the first year of university. You're often the receiver of troubles....the 'nothing is going right' conversations.

Visit...but not too often

Visits by parents (especially when accompanied by shopping sprees and/or dinners out) are another part of the away-from-home experience that new students greatly appreciate.

Don't tell them that these are the best years of their life

University can be full of indecision, insecurities, disappointments, and most all, mistakes. Conversely, university can be full of discovery, inspiration, good times and new people.

Trust them
Finding oneself is difficult. Your child needs support from people they trust the most.

Courtesy of Arthur MacKay

The Transition for Parents

Confronting an empty nest requires enormous reorganization—only it's not files or an office you're trying to rearrange, but the very architecture of your life, your identity and your connection to someone you love. No matter how sad we feel, our goal is to make it easy for our children to go away and to assure them we'll be all right. Here are concrete ways to take charge of the transition, instead of just letting it happen.

Tip #1
Fill the void before they leave
Go back to work, take classes, volunteer.

Tip #2
Cultivate an adult relationship
Ask your teenager how he or she envisions your relationship with each other changing over time. Share your hopes and plans for the future.

Tip #3
Instill last minute lessons
Listen to your child. Does she or he have any doubts about being away from home? Insecurities about cooking, laundry, banking and auto maintenance offer a few final bonding moments over the summer. Help your child learn the basics.

Tip #4
Throw a send-off party
Get creative with gifts that symbolize freedom and responsibility - a basic cookbook, laundry detergent, key chain, money for cab rides home from a party.

Tip #5
Keep the lines of communication open
Establish a weekly check-in routine like e-mail updates every Sunday or Saturday morning calls. Let your child know that they can call you whenever they need to.

Tip #6
Love your child enough to let them make their own mistakes
It's okay if they struggle a bit finding their way in the world. Remembers, you've already done the hardest part - raising a smart, resourceful kid!

Courtesy of O, The Oprah Magazine, September 2002

Academics: (information provided by Hofstra University)

University is not high school. As an academic accepted into the NSAC your professors will have high expectations. As a university student, your son/ daughter’s day will not be as scheduled compared to high school; therefore, time management and prioritizing academic, athletic and social activities becomes a crucial skill.
In order to achieve academic success it is crucial that your son/ daughter attend class regularly. Encourage them to stay focused and committed to attendance.
Whether or not your son/ daughter interacts with their academic advisor, it is a good idea to check in with them before registration to ensure your son/ daughter is on track for graduation.
You may want to meet with their professors. Within parent orientation and several orientation events, parents are invited to a reception where they can meet the NSAC faculty.

Money Matters:

Financial advice for your son/ daughter is available in student services with Monica Sani(link)
Career Services (link) can also provide assistance in helping your son/ daughter find a part time job during the term and a full time job in the summer months.
Before your son or daughter leaves for university make sure you discuss your student’s budget, balancing expenses and incomes, the positives and negatives of credit cards and the responsibility of car insurance.

Communicating with your son/ daughter:

Do not demand daily communication. Your son/ daughter should initiate the phone calls.
Before dropping you son/ daughter off at university, take the time to go over how often you would like them to communicate with you.
Encourage your son/ daughter to form a good relationship with their roommate.